Flash Fiction Contest Winner!

Today it's my privilege to publish Tim Knopp's winning story. Vonda and I have absolutely loved reading this stories and I'm certain this contest will become an annual event. Not sure what I"m referring to? Here is the first and the second about our first annual, Flash Fiction Contest!


'Til Forever
by Tim Knopp
Morning cast her golden countenance over the room rescuing Eric from a fitful sleep.  His lower back twinged as he rolled to where his wife should lay.  Empty.  Had she slept?  Or like him had she tossed until the night kindly dragged her away?  The coolness of the sheet suggested she hadn’t waited for morning’s coaxing to rise.  Throwing back the blanket, Eric stretched on the edge of the bed unsure how his comforter had been so inappropriately named.

He stepped on stiff legs to the dresser by the bedroom door.  A framed picture of his wife held a tiny note in its crook, and he lifted them both to his tired eyes.  Funny, he thought staring at the picture, how the years had aged her without his noticing.  She had outgrown the homecoming queen of his memories.  Still, a beautiful woman was a beautiful woman, and he thanked the Lord for such blessings.

Pulling the note from the frame, he opened the bedroom door.  A half dozen strangers occupied his living room, some lounging their grey heads on his couch, others in white uniforms moving busily around the place.

“Hey,” he called, his voice hoarse and dry.  “What’s going on here?”

A small, middle-aged thing approached him.  The tag on her uniform read “CLEARVIEW RETIREMENT”.  “Oh, Mr. Stewart.  Good morning.  Have you read your wife’s note yet?  That usually helps.”

Confused how this woman would know of his wife’s note, he gazed at the paper held in his shriveled fingers.

“God doesn’t just love; He is Love,” Eric read aloud.  “Remember that when you can no longer remember me.  Yours ‘til forever, Eva”.

The tear of a half-memory soaked the faded note.  Eric smiled at the nurse in bittersweet recollection, just as he had each morning for years.

I've Finished My First Draft - Now What?

I talk with lots of writers who struggle with the editing process. It leaves them feeling overwhelmed and confused. Many are uncertain of where to begin. As a professional editor, I have a specific process I follow, whether I’m working on a client’s manuscript or my own. There are a lot of things to look for in a manuscript and I’ve found that it takes multiple editing passes to catch everything. I take things in small bites—editing no more than a chapter at a time. I also go from the big issues to the small details. Here are the steps I go through when I’m getting a manuscript ready for publication.

First Pass – I make certain that each scene (if there’s more than one per chapter) has strong conflict and is necessary to move the story along. I’m ruthless here—good writing alone NEVERjustifies a scene’s inclusion in the finished product.

Second Pass – I check my timeline and the sequence of events. I make sure everything is logical. For example, I look to see if I have a character giving a response before an event happens. 

• Elisa jumped when a loud pop echoed in the chamber.
• The loud pop echoed through the chamber and Elisa jumped, knocking her head against the back of the chair.

In the first example the reader sees Elisa jump then reads about the pop.
The second example puts things more logically. 

During this pass I also check to see if I have a balance of speaker beats and speaker tags. 

Third Pass – I check for passive writing. I do a search for the word was and study each usage to make certain it’s past tense—not passive tense.

• Stuart was walking across the yard.
• Stuart walked (or better yet, strolled) across the yard.

Was Walking is passive in the first example.
In the second example the verb is much stronger.

Fourth Pass – I look for telling, instead of showing. These are some clue words I search for:

• Felt
• Remembered
• Knew
• Watched
• Saw
• Looked
• Was
• -ing words
• -ly words

These words let me know that something might be wrong.

Fifth Pass – I look for times when I’ve named emotions instead of showing them. 

• Bethany felt panic course through her system. Had she waited too long?
• Bethany could feel her nails cutting into her palms as she fisted her hands. Had she waited too long?

In the first example I name the emotion – panic. In the second example I let Bethany’s actions lead the reader to her emotional state. The first example also has a clue word—felt—that would help me see that changes need to be made.

Sixth Pass – I look to see if each scene contains all five senses. 
Here are two senses I had to add to the scenes I was working on.

• Substandard lighting and circulation led to the lingering odor of sulfur mixed with leaching compounds. At almost two clicks beneath the metropolis the noxious haze, unable to dissipate, lingered to burn the throat of any unfortunate worker.
• Dawn had broken, but instead of beauty, a dank haze hung over the city. He could still taste the metallic bite in the polluted air.

Seventh Pass – I read the entire chapter out loud, making notes about whatever hits me as slightly off.

This is the process I always use. It won’t catch everything, but it gets me a long way down the road. After going through these seven steps I set the chapter aside and move on to the next one. This gives me my second draft. 

There are many good books out there on this subject, especially Self-Editing for Fiction Writers  by our own Dave King. All I’ve done is break the process down into one I could replicate with any manuscript. What are some tricks you use when you’re in the editing process?


Blessings,
Edie